Here is my thing. I've gone and burned myself out. Frazzled and yet still feisty I have reassesed myself.
And it seems I'm spread too thin.
My desire in life is this. To write. To write books mainly. But also to connect with a beautiful tribe through bringing to them what they already know, deep down. I incarcerate into words what your hearts fluster and flap for you to remember.
I am not your guru. I would like to be your friend. I love reading cards for you. But would prefer it happen over tea and cake in my living room whilst our kids / cats / lovers entertain themselves next door. Seriously, bring me cake and I am yours...
So for now I am focusing on my two great purposes. Mothering and writing. I'm not going anywhere. I want to be right here with you, you inspire me and make me smile. But I am dropping the incessant need to film myself daily, because, you already know. you are that wise. My wisdom comes better in alphabet than it does in a one minute instagram hit. I will still share. Every day. but not by film. Nor am I doing any more personal readings? for now. I love them, I do. But it's exhausting. and I need that energy for my babies and the book I am writing for us, Woman.
I really do adore you, my tribe. I am honoured that my words have touched your heart. And when I have needed you, you have blessed me right back. We are sisters. truly. I always wanted a sister. Now I have so many. In bizarrely rampant and dark times, we are each ohers guardians and beloveds.
So, here it is. My little manifesto of self. I am giving over only to what really matters. Family, creation and connection. I know you will understand. I hold my hand out to you. Let us always grow and reevaluate and come back ever more ourselves.
with love, your sister, Alice
I have given myself a new job. And it isn't one that's going to pay an awful lot. It doesn't have a job description, or a benefits package, or even a holiday allowance. and it is this. I am a feminist. I didn't even have to apply. Happily I was raised this way. It has come through, in pieces, in my precious books. But they were names 'high heeled' and so the message may be lost at first sight.
Another lesson in never judging a book by it's cover. But then again if I'd have wanted so share my feminist credentials, I wouldn't have named it that. I wasn't ready.
That is how this week has struck me. It has me deeply wondering on worth and purpose and the point. And I came up with this. My point is, hell, my purpose is, to follow my feminist beliefs in all the ways that suit me and that light me up. Because this week has been a hell of a week for women. For me. And I'm not even a subject of the kingdom where this shit went down. I'm a half American brit, with an English passport, and a gob full of awe that my Atlantic sisters, in the land of the free, are set to be ruled by this pussy mongering misogynist.
I started off November feeling a shift coming. But I couldn't put my finger on it. I knew I was tired out doing what I was doing. I was missing something. At the new moon I found myself praying to the goddess. Make doing what I want to do easier. Make it something I do as naturally as the wave hits the shore.
Then Trump was elected and bam, the fact I am a feminist, and always have been, became the most important thing. And I remembered the book I was writing, the one called Woman. The one that feels like some kind of culmination of all that went before in my life. The one that feels a stretch too far for my capabilities, a challenge, a vision fucking quest. The one that is going to push me. And even in spite of this, feels easy. It feels easy because that level of pushing feels right. Like a baby. It aches and it burns, it feels like you might just die, but something in it feels right. And it is in the burn, the fear, the conquest, the inevitable birth where the ease comes.
So that is me. Transformed by November already and it's only the 11th. I will now be pulling back a little on my tarot readings. Channelling all I have into the next book, Woman. And all the other energy I have goes to my children, my partner, and my self, as I live in this life as a Woman, raising two girls, determined to make some difference, whether it be through my writing, my instagram, my books, my babies.
Love to you all. I hope that however this week has hit you, it has hit you in the heart. The resultant trauma being one of grand, great, life changing creativity and purpose.
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