Like a virgin. Reflections on my third book.

I feel like an author virgin. I have, before Dear Poppyseed, written and had published two whole books. I've done this book malarky before. Some might say I'm experienced, to an extent. But for some reason this third book (three being the magic number) feels all different. I guess, in many respects I am assuming a new position. Let me explain...

My previous books are personal, but they are spiritual. To read them you have to be in at least a quasi-spiritual frame of mind. If you aren't in that place then the books just are not for you yet. Countless times I've had readers tell me that THHGT Spiritual Living or her sister THHGT Enlightenment sat on their shelves awaiting the day they were in the right place to be taken down and enjoyed. Eventually this day came, but for some it took years. For some, those books are still, no doubt, languishing on shelves, patiently, patiently waiting.

No matter how many radio interviews, articles, or awards I won (OK, OK I only won one award) it made no difference to those titles. Instead the books have a life of their own. The books find people at the right time in their lives. Readers have frequently amazed me with tales of how my spiritual books ended up in their hands. Often the stories are remarkable. One woman telling me how she picked up the book, looked at it, decided against it and put it back on the shelf, but somehow the book ended up in her bag when she emptied her shopping at home. Plus, she really enjoyed it despite her initial reservations! Other people have had the book, appear before them, as if a vision, albeit on the shelf of their local book store. The books find people. I am irrelevant to them. I birthed them and they toddled off. I have been a bereft author mommy for some time. 

And then along comes Dear Poppyseed. A book in which my life is literally encapsulated. A book that covers the story of the most intimate relationship I have ever had, in detail. Christ, I talk about my nipples. I talk about my nipples more than once! And besides bodily parts I talk about my husband, our problems, our life together. It's the most raw and honest thing I ever wrote, and now it's in the world, and strangely I feel like it's my first book. The other two are like bawdy teenagers, rolicking off on their own, knowing everything. Dear Poppyseed is my baby, cradled in my arms as I type this and sprawled across pages of paper for you to hold and internalise. 

Dear Poppyseed is perhaps the book I was always meant to write. I can't look at it, even now, without becoming emotional. And I know my readers catch that current of feeling, and I know they will cry. I hope that they will laugh. I know they will see themselves reflected in some of my passages. It's through this mess of hormones and pregnancy and babies that many will find a little soul, maybe then they will find my other books too. But unlike my first two offerings, you don't need to be in any frame of mind to read Dear Poppyseed. It just is, you don't need to be pregnant, you don't even need to be a woman. It's just a whole other type of book. And I wrote it. And since I wrote it I have been distracted all over again by the subject matter of the book and her needs. And so yeah, I feel all virgin like and new to this game. 

Dear Poppyseed has been out for just over a week. It has gone up the charts, then down, then up again. It's been reviewed in ways I never fathomed before, see here... I've had responses from friends I never expected either. People buying it who never would have bought my first. One good pal of mine stated the following when she held her copy. 'You know I'm actually looking forward to reading this one'.  She said that twice. She isn't massively spiritual, and so I take that as a compliment. It's a new world I'm straddling. Whilst I'd love people to connect to my spiritual books, that will only happen when their time is right. But this book is finding playmates all over. 

I've dropped all expectation now. I really haven't got a clue what comes next in my life. I'm still publishing for Soul Rocks Books. I'm playing with baby as much as I can. I'm letting the world turn and we shall see what happens next. I'm no longer searching for spirituality, because in living my truth, living minute to minute, I am my spirituality. There is maybe a whole other book there... but I'd rather play with my baba. 

Dear Poppyseed is available in all good bookstores and online. 

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