Overwhelmed

Sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed (perhaps more than sometimes). It's hard raising little children, running a household, working from home, rarely getting out for sanity time and at the same time doggedly pursuing a passion. Lately we have had a bout of summer colds, with my husband  totally out of action to some horrible cough, rash and hallucination inducing fever. Besides this my hormones are utterly out of whack due to a returning period and continued breastfeeding. It's like an Edwardian melodrama in my head somedays. So not cool, or mindful, or even that conscious... Sometimes it feels like life is a never ending bout of plagues and / or troubles. Even now, after pursuing a spiritual path for so long, I find myself constantly thrown up against the dramas of life and, especially, my reactions to them. 

Lately I've been watching my moods and seeing them sink lower. Which is not like me. And yet, I can't deny it because if I do, then I'm not standing in my truth and other new age cliches... 

Sometimes we have to objectively hold up our hands and say, this isn't fun, I'm not happy, this is hard. Only then can we do something about it. So I pulled myself out of my quickly sinking head, joined us up rapidly to a local family gym (a constructive move borne by my secret desire to sit in their sauna all day long) and we are making brave attempts to stem the tide of takeaways that have lately become our go to 'happy place'. Ah to be spiritual, but to be so fucking lazy with it. So lazy brought about by being so bloody busy. Bad habits and bad moods, so easily feed each other, and then that goddess given Naga Masala, the one that makes it all okay, for a moment... 
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This is my real life. Spiritually inclined, absolutely exhausted, not always happy go lucky or in converse with angels. So in love with it all, but wanting, only, a bit more sleep. How is your real spiritual life looking today? Your dirty and your divine? So much love to you, and I hope you relate to this little stream of consciousness. Because for spiritual life to be accessible, it's got to get headaches and heartaches right? Alice xxx

Read Alice's latest book, Dirty and Divine, for a real life exploration of daily spiritual crazy, lived through a pack of tarot cards.